Friday, March 05, 2004
A Simple Guide 
Here's a short guide, in response to people who keep moaning at me that I always have my mobile phone off:

Step 1: This is Blackpool. I live here. It's very nice. Kinda. Anyway, if I'm in Blackpool, outside of my house, then my mobile will be on. The chances of me being near a landline to take your call are slim, and the chances of you guessing the number of any phone I *might* be near are slimmer, close to about 0.0001 * 10 285618. This having been said, you should try my mobile first, and if you get voicemail, or no answer, go to step 2.

Step 2: This is a house. I live in a house too. Unfortunately, it's not as nice as this one, but I live in a house all the same. If you followed Step 1, and didn't get hold of me, it's because I'm here. Therefore, phone my house phone. There are 2 phones in my house, one upstairs, one downstairs. This means that there is a 100% chance that I'll be on the same floor as a phone. In turn, this means I'll definitely be able to answer one within 10 seconds. If my mother is home too, this will probably decrease to 5 seconds or less.

I hope this was useful. NOW STOP FUCKING BUGGING ME.

// posted by TehHustler @ 1:37 PM

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